


the clouds try to plead (tyler remembers)

by orphan_account



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Attempted Rape/Non-Con, M/M, Rape Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-28
Updated: 2015-06-28
Packaged: 2018-04-06 15:04:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4226400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>tyler remembers. he's not sure if... he... still does. but tyler remembers it. he remembers everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the clouds try to plead (tyler remembers)

**Author's Note:**

> in which I am a horrible person who can't come up with a good title. tw for attempted rape and the hurt afterwards. first fic, stay easy on me please! feedback is much appreciated.

Tyler remembers.   
He's not sure if... he... still does.  
But Tyler remembers it. He remembers everything.   
He remembers how his vision was clouded from alcohol that he decided would numb his pain for a night.   
He remembers thinking about how dumb that idea was as he left the bar, tomorrow's hangover already starting to come to mind.  
He remembers the chilly night air, the slight breeze that crept into his bones and made him shiver.   
He remembers his sweatshirt that he threw on, stumbling around the corner to start walking home.   
He remembers considering calling josh but deciding against it because it was 3 am and he didn't need to wake him, he could get home alright and he didn't want to make josh worry, he didn't want to see the concern in his eyes when Tyler slurred over words in a phone call asking him to pick him up.  
He remembers somehow ending up leaning against the cement wall of the bar, in a small alleyway that smelled like cigarette smoke and gasoline, with the steady drip from last night's rain still falling from the corner of the rooftop.   
He remembers taking a deep breath and in his drunken state falling onto his ass to sit against the wall and let the world stop spinning for a moment so he could stand again and continue his trek home.   
He remembers how his breath collected in the air and how he'd laughed because he looked like a dragon even though he'd probably think nothing of it if he were sober. He remembers faintly hearing the footsteps to his left as he giggled, but not paying attention to them as he looked at the shallow puffs of air he was breathing out.  
He remembers someone sitting beside him, a taller man that he remembered had decent hair and was wearing a gray shirt.  
He doesn't remember the man's face. He doesn't think he wants to because he's sure he'll only remember smirks and nauseating eyes.  
He remembers feeling his heart beat faster from fear as he realized the man's hand was resting on Tyler's thigh, creeping up toward somewhere that sent red flags up in Tyler's mind, saying that he needed to tell this person to stop that, stop that right now.   
He remembers how the laughter from the thoughts of dragons hitched in his throat as panic settled in and made itself a home inside of him.   
He remembers standing, scrambling to his feet and muttering that he needed to get home, he didn't want to talk to this man.   
He remembers one second walking away and the next being pressed uncomfortably against the cold, damp brick.   
He remembers tears pricking at the corners of his eyes as icy fingers slid up his sweatshirt and down his jeans and all over him, tracing patterns that he didn't want onto his skin and ignoring the small "no" that left his drunken lips in a slur that clouded the air.   
He remembers pushing the man away and his throat closing up as he was punished with a sharp blow to the side of his head as the man pulled him back and continued to use him, quickening his pace this time so Tyler couldn't get away.   
He remembers how he shivered at the cold when his sweatshirt was pulled over his head.   
He remembers praying to god to get him out of this because he needed to get away, this wasn't right, he didn't want this, this was rape and he didn't want it, he wanted to go back to his best friend's home and just fall asleep.   
He remembers feeling shattered as he was pushed onto his stomach, naked in an alley, pressed to the ground by this stranger, cheek-to-ground, body rejecting the feeling of wet, cold cement that hurt him, everything hurt, his bones, his skin, his head was pounding as he tried to get out of this clouded drunken state.   
He remembers hearing a zipper.   
He remembers preparing himself for pain, as sobs started racking his body and he dug his fingernails into the concrete and prayed more for this stop, prayed for God to stop this and help him, prayed for God to please end this and get him out of this.   
He remembers hearing yelling, a familiar voice that he didn't often hear yelling.   
He remembers squeezing his eyes shut and curling himself into a ball as he hears the yelling and the punching and the screaming from Joshua Dun, whom Tyler has never heard raise his voice or get angry around Tyler, but here he is, in a rage, slamming his fist down into a stranger's face.   
He remembers hearing the running, the man running away, shoes squeaking across wet concrete as he makes his escape and gets away, almost leaving with Tyler's innocence.   
He remembers a gentler touch sliding his clothes back on and he flinched away regardless of the fact that he knows it's Josh.   
He remembers being fully dressed, laying in the alley, staring at the wall across from him, knees pulled to his chest, as a mixture of guilt, relief, and complete filthiness pools in his abdomen and it hurts, it's like his entire body is caving in and he has never wanted to die more than he does in that moment.   
He remembers feeling tainted.   
Worthless.   
Used.   
He remembers eventually letting josh help him up and carry him to Josh's car, sitting carefully in the passenger seat and allowing tears to fall down his face at the embarrassment of being seen like that.   
He remembers josh asking if Tyler wanted to talk about what happened or not, and Tyler remembers replying in with a numb, stiff "No." Before he stares out the window and lets josh take him home.   
He remembers going to bed.  
He remembers waking up from a nightmare about hands, those calloused hands that caressed him unwillingly, except this time they were clasped around his throat, suffocating him, smothering him, ruining him.  
He remembers screaming for josh as a panic attack rushed over him and he's doubled over screaming into his knees, throwing up over the side of the bed.   
He remembers Josh's warm hand, placed gently on his back, rubbing small circles, whispering comforting words that Tyler absorbed.   
He remembers falling asleep again in Josh's lap.   
He remembers praying with josh every night afterwards, talking about it, and working through it.   
He remembers finding comfort in God and in josh and finally in himself.   
Tyler still remembers.   
The man probably doesn't.   
But Tyler does.   
And he's working through it, one step at a time.   
He remembers, but it doesn't consume him anymore.   
Because even though he remembers the hands and the cold and the concrete, he remembers the warmth in Josh and the comfort and the refuge.   
Tyler remembers.


End file.
